State of Families

Below is the table depicting the state of divorces from 2011-2020- released by StatsSA in 2022:

Table 2 – Number and percentage distribution of published divorces in South Africa by population group, 2011 – 2020(StatsSA)

According to StatsSA In 2020, 8 826 (54,8%) of the 16 097 divorces had children younger than 18 years whereas 7 271 (45,2%) divorces had no children (see Table 21 on page 45). The profile of white divorcees showed that more than half of the recorded divorces were without children (55,5%). Looking at the black African and coloured divorcees, divorces involving couples with children constituted about 59,8% and 61,8% respectively. Table 22 on page 45 shows that 52,7% of children affected by divorce were from the black African population group; 18,4% from the white population group; 17,6% from the coloured population group and 5,1% from the Indian/Asian population group.

Divorce has become a major challenge facing the family unit today. Divorce impacts negatively   on the foundation of the family with negative consequences for children and spouses alike.

Eddy and Holborn in their article (May 2011) state the following” South Africa has a number of unique circumstances that affect the structure and situation of families. They include its history of apartheid, and particularly the migrant labour system. Poverty greatly affects family life. The HIV/AIDS pandemic has also profoundly affected the health and well-being of family members and has consequently placed an added burden on to children”.

It is also common knowledge that the world has a huge percentage of single dads and moms raising children. Depending on how strong the bond or structure within these single family environments, will determine the final product- which is the child. The same goes to married families, the structure and the values underpinning the unit may to a large extent determine the final product.

Contemporarily, one has noted that failure to have strong families, results in children being shaped by external forces, such as friends, media and society. Shaping by external forces disengages the grip families have on shaping values, habits and beliefs of their children.

On the other hand White Paper on Families in South Africa ( Released in 2011) makes this startling scientific revelations:

Demographically, non-marital childbearing has been found to have a negative impact on a population’s overall total fertility rate (Upchurch et al, 2002; Musick, 2007; Solomon-Fears, 2008). Socioeconomically although family structure and parental marital status alone do not guarantee positive or negative outcomes (Manning, 2002), non-marital childbearing has been shown to have more negative implications for children’s education, economic and overall well-being, with research indicating that stable marital unions “benefit nearly every aspect of children’s well-being. This includes greater educational opportunities, better emotional and physical health, lower incidences of anti-social behaviour such substance abuse, early sexual activity for girls, and delinquency for boys” (Wilkins, 2012:vi).”

Chudi-Oji Chukwuka (2013) in his case study on the causes and consequences of family instability at Umoowa community in Orlu Local Government area of Imo State in Nigeria made the following observation:

“The problem of family instability can be traced to the rapid growth rate of urbanization and industrialization in Nigeria. The economy is growing and it requires a lot of manpower (both skilled and unskilled). This has aroused every member of the family to become one way or the other involved in the economic growth of the nation. The involvement of women in wage carrying is a threat in the family solidarity; couples hardly find time to stay together for interaction purposes. Childcare which should be the responsibility of the parents is now shifted to the school and house helps”.

This observation is not different from the situation in South Africa.

It is the belief of Marriage Powerhouse Network founders that a shaky family foundation has serious negative implications for the family, community, country and the World at large. One could even assume that such is a security threat or loophole that terrorists, gangsters and traffickers use to further their social ills. “No family, no nation.”

Fractured Families

Gail Eddy and Lucy Holborn in their article Fractured Families: A crisis for South Africa “Many South African children are not growing up in safe and secure families. Some are affected by poverty, while others are burdened by the effects of the HIV/AIDS pandemic. This pandemic has resulted in an epidemic of orphanhood and child-headed households, which has left many children having to fend for themselves.

Single-parent households are the norm in South Africa, with the majority of children growing up with one parent — most likely a mother. Increasing numbers of fathers are absent, and a ‘crisis of men’ in South Africa seems to be perpetuating patterns of abuse and desertion that will most likely continue with future generations”.

Children may respond to divorce differently according to Kalter, but common reactions may include but not limited to the following:

• They may worry that their parents don’t love them anymore.
• They feel abandoned. They feel like the parent has divorced them too.
• They feel helpless and powerless to do anything about the situation.
• They have a greater need for nurturing. They may become clingy and whiny–or they may become moody and silent.
• They feel angry. Their anger can be expressed in many ways, from extremely emotional to quiet resentment.
• Children go through the grieving process and may also experience conflicts of loyalty.
• Many times, children feel as though the divorce is their fault.
• Sometimes children or teens feel they have to “take care of” one or both of their parents. Giving up one’s childhood to care for emotionally troubled parents is a widespread characteristic in children of divorce.

Children often feel they are at fault for the divorce. They may feel that something they did or said caused a parent to leave. Sometimes children or teens feel they have to “take care of” one or both of their parents. Giving up one’s childhood to care for emotionally troubled parents is a widespread characteristic in children of divorce.

A broken family is a broken nation, hence MPN is founded on the principles of strengthening families whether married or not, blended or otherwise. Any family structure will face challenges, however MPN’s core objective is to strengthen cohesiveness within families and marriages.